America


SPREAD THE STUPIDITY:

  • Only in America…..do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • Only in America…..do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
  • Only in America…..do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • Only in America…..do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
  • Only in America…..do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
  • Only in America…..do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
  • Only in America…..do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER?

  • Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
  • Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
  • Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?
  • Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
  • Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”?
  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
  • Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?
  • Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
  • Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
  • Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
  • Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
  • You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
  • Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
  • Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
  • If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
  • If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Check out the new Interstate Sign that will be put up at exit places that have fuel available.

New Interstate Fuel Sign

THREE THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:

  1. COWS
  2. THE CONSTITUTION
  3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington and, they can track her calves to their stalls, but they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country? Maybe we should give them all a cow!

THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years and we’re really not using it anymore.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse:

You cannot post “Thou Shalt Not Steal,” “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,” and “Thou Shall Not Lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians – it simply creates a hostile work environment.


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