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OTHER FRIENDS: Never ask for food
MILITARY FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

OTHER FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents mom and dad.

OTHER FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying, Damn…we fucked up…but that shit was fun!”

OTHER FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Cry with you.

OTHER FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.

OTHER FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

OTHER FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

OTHER FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, “I’m home!”

OTHER FRIENDS: Are for a while.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Are for life.

OTHER FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, “Bitch, you better drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste!!”

OTHER FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock them the f ** k out!!

OTHER FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will repost TO ALL OF THEIR FRIENDS

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

“Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian”

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table,eating. Jack asks, “Son… what happened last night?”

“Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”

Confused, he asked his son, “So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??”

His son replies, “Oh THAT!… Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,

“Leave me alone, I’m married!!”

• Broken Coffee Table $239.99
• Hot Breakfast $4.20
• Two Aspirins $.38
• Saying the right thing, at the right time . ..Priceless!